Recently, a visit to the doctor's office revealed that I had lost 7lbs! I was very excited since prior to this I have had a tremendous difficulty losing weight. If I did lose anything it would be 5lbs only to gain it right back. So, the extra 2 lbs that somehow disappeared gave me great hope that I had broken a mysterious cycle.
I thought it a mystery because of denial. No, I am not talking about the river in Egypt. You know denial - it is the package of lies we tell ourselves hoping to escape some sort of truth we are just not quite ready to face yet. My inescapable truth was appetite and lack of activity has been the real cause of stubborn high scale numbers. However, I am now ready to face the truth. In order to see those numbers drop, feel a difference in the way my clothes fit, and feel better about myself, I MUST admit that I can no longer eat anything I want. I NEED to realize that sitting on the couch will not give me any more energy than what I have; but, in fact, it will suck even more life out of me.
My goal right now is to keep the magnetic 7lbs from clinging right back to me. If I can accomplish this, maybe I can move on to another 7lb decrease. I am taking it one baby step at a time. My greatest hurdle is the seeming disconnect between the fleshy apron that jiggles at my midsection and the verbiage such as fat, cellulite, pounds, excess food, insufficient exercise, etc. It is as if those horrible adjectives and nouns are so egregious they cannot possibly be real. Therefore the legitimate cause my thighs act as flint and chaff for a boy scout trying to start a fire for the first time must still be a mystery. Do I smell smoke? Those ugly words need to come out of ambiguity and race into reality as tangible objects that can be controlled.
How can fat, cellulite, pounds, cottage cheese butts, fire starting thighs, and jiggly midsections be controlled? This, my friends, is the million dollar question. Millions of people spend millions of dollars on gimmicks to lose weight which include cosmetic surgeries. However, let me just answer this valuable question for free. Most already know the answer. Some could have medical issues preventing them from being the size they want to be. Others are completely content with the size they are; but for me the answer is DENIAL! It's okay, though. Everybody has been in denial about something at least once in their lifetime. We all have a right to come to our truths in our own time. The fact still remains, however, that if I do not want my butt to look like I eat McDonald's burgers and fries, I cannot EAT McDonald's burgers and fries ALL the time. When I succumb to the temporary theme song, "I'm Lovin' It!", I HAVE to remind myself the regret that will come in like a wave once my justification and craving wears off. If I want to prevent starting forest fires with my thighs, I must increase my activity. My legs can and do move quicker than I thought they could. I must test this theory on a consistent and regular basis to see the real benefits; but this is more than a theory. It is a fact. I save loads of money off my grocery bill when I stop overeating. It's amazing how little food I can get away with eating and still be satisfied compared to what I normally stuff into my body. I increase the amount of free time I have when I spend less time bellied up to a buffet bar. This time could be spent playing with my kids or getting involved in more productive hobbies.
I know this is a touchy subject. So, calm down. For those not ready to face this truth yet, just book mark this blog and come back to it when you are. This is not coming from a skinny beautiful stick figure. I openly admit that I am a short robust beautiful stump. This blog is meant only to reveal the truth I have come to know. This is not a judgment or command for others to be skinny. I agree with those who think the media puts too much pressure on ladies to look like Twiggy or Kate Moss, which I view as grotesque anyway.
The real moral of this story is that there is a great amount of confidence and satisfaction that comes from being healthy for all the right reasons. I can deprive myself of excess or unhealthy fats and sugars and not only do I experience positive changes in my appearance; but I also feel better physically. Amazingly still, my inner spirit feels tremendous benefits when I am true to and discipline myself. I feel emotionally healthy. If anyone gleans anything from this blog I hope it is encouragement to look within and see if there is any untruth lurking in a dark barricaded sacred corner regarding any uncomfortable topic. Why? Shakespeare said it best, "This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." Basically, you cannot even start to be honest to anyone else until you are first honest with yourself. I wish you all grace, peace, and freedom in your endeavors to discover your own truths.
Showing posts with label Motivational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivational. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Assume the Position
A career criminal found himself in yet another precarious predicament. Lights and sirens swirling and whining behind him informed him that his time was up...again. Hesitantly, he pulled his vehicle over to the side of the road. Sure enough, the officer that pulled him over was the same who had caught him so many other times. Simultaneously, both men sighed in amazement and rolled their eyes in disbelief. The officer called the criminal by his name to get out of the car. Upon exiting the vehicle, the officer said, "Assume the position."
Resisting the temptation to ask others what the phrase "assume the position" brings immediately to mind, we'll all just note that this phrase has a negative connotation. Suffice it to say that we all have probably been in situations where we have felt "caught", violated, or taken advantage of (maybe even more than once) to the point that it becomes "old hat". Consequently, we find ourselves in these moments assuming a familiar position as a result of (excuse the psychology term) conditioning. This blog will hopefully serve as a tool to recondition (if necessary) the stance we choose to take in stressful or even traumatic times in our lives.
We all have different postures we assume in troublesome times. So, let's talk about five that have come to my mind. First, we have those people that assume the defensive stance. Probably the most popular of choices, the defensive stance is assumed as a means of self preservation when faced with what one may view as an attack, problem, or stressful situation. Second, we have the victim pose. It may not be self explanatory to some. Suffice it to say, this posture can come after a series of painful events and one must be handled gently while frozen here. Third, is another common approach to problematic situations - the escape artist. Especially in the current fad of prescription/illicit drug abuse, many people choose to act as escape artists by drowning problems in drugs or even alcohol abuse; but do not be mistaken! ANYTHING can be used to escape problems too big to face alone. The fourth option (and my least favorite) is a perpetrator. There are some who have felt like they have been short changed so often that they will no longer sit back and wait to be taken advantage of but instead inflict retribution on others - sometimes even innocent bystanders.
Before we try to identify with a specific category that we may or may not fit into, let it be said that one person can take any or all of these positions at some point in a lifetime and sometimes all at once. Could this be the reason we see so many people hurting others in our society today? I make no claims to be an expert. Neither will I attempt to make this something worthy of being posted on the APA website. However, I do feel an extreme need to point out that in my life I have justified my behavior solely on the merits of what has been done to me. If I have done this, then it could very well be possible that others have as well. So, if by my admission I can encourage someone or join someone in their shadows to make them feel less alone, so be it.
Therefore, let me just share the postures I have assumed in my lifetime. I will try to make it as chronological as I can to bear out the progression. In my younger years, I was very trusting and naïve. I could be tricked by the silliest of pranks because I just wanted to belong so badly. I never got hurt by these pranks only maybe slightly embarrassed. As I got older, though, I would get so angry at myself for being so stupid that I began striking back in a defensive manner with sarcasm and cutting comebacks. Soon, my behavior became less reactionary in an attempt to head pain off at the pass. I began perpetrating painful things on others before they had a chance to hurt me. I justified it as preventative maintenance. As more time passed and more of life happened, I encountered many traumatic circumstances to the point that I just could not be strong enough to fight back, which left me victimized with a cowering personality. This infuriated me because I hated feeling and being viewed as weak. It was completely unacceptable for me. So, I tried to escape from my problems. I used various methods all failing miserably despite my justification of retaliation for all that had been done to me and all it left me with was a reflection that I despised.
To reiterate what I said earlier, I am no expert and by no means do I have all the answers. What I do know is this: I have assumed the defensive position and I, along with many others, still got hurt. I have assumed the perpetrator position and innocent people got hurt. I have assumed the victim position and hated my own weakness. I have assumed the escapist position and people were horribly effected by my absence. What is the common thread? People got hurt in EVERY ONE of these positions and at NO time did I ever successfully protect myself from pain. Why? Because in life there WILL be pain. None of us like this fact! We do not want to hear or be reminded of it; but it is still the reality.
I use to hate the scripture in *Matthew 5:44 that says, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;". Equally as troublesome was the scripture in *Matthew 18:21, 22 that states, "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven." I mean, come on! Really? I am expected to forgive the same person for the same thing 490 frickin' times in the SAME DAY???!!! Get outta here! There is no way. It's not fair to just let those hateful horrible people that hurt me off the hook. These scriptures were so troublesome that I rebelled against them, refusing to operate that way. I punished those who hurt me by not forgiving them and holding them internally and eternally responsible. The only problem was my perpetrators were completely apathetic and oblivious to the grudges that I re-lived [sometimes] daily. Ashamedly, after many years of holding everyone internally accountable for everything they said or did or didn't say or do to me, I realized that these principles were given to me not as a means to give predators a license to victimize me. Instead, these principles served as a key to unlock the shackles that bound and tormented me.
There we have it. We all have been given the keys to unlock us from the imprisonment of any pain we have experienced from problems, stresses, or trauma. So, go and be free! Right? Well, I don't know about you, but I hate pat answers and have very little respect for those that flip them off their tongues. I do not need to tell anyone who has ever really seriously been hurt how hard it is to truly forgive the source(s) of pain and move on truly free in life. What I have spelled out here in this blog may be exactly what others have gone through or not at all close. After all, everyone is different. However, what I encourage anyone who is facing something right now to do is assume the fifth position that I have purposely saved until now and that is the survivor position.
Being a survivor is the most rewarding position one could ever take and yet the most difficult. The survivor approach in life is much like the attitude found in *2 Corinthians 4:7-10 that says, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. [We are] troubled on every side, yet not distressed; [we are] perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body." Mother Teresa said it another way: "People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." (http://www.prayerfoundation.org/mother_teresa_do_it_anyway.htm)
What does the survivor position look like? Again, it may look as many different ways as there are people. To me, however, I assume the survivor position best when I face the cross on Calvary, acknowledge the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and do my very best to live as He did. If I do this, maybe one day I can (like Stephen in Acts 7:55, 56) focus my attention more on the mutual love and respect that Christ and I share than the current pain I am suffering. I wonder what society would look like if everyone reconditioned themselves to assume this survivor position.
*All scripture references were taken from www.blueletterbible.org in the King James Version.
Resisting the temptation to ask others what the phrase "assume the position" brings immediately to mind, we'll all just note that this phrase has a negative connotation. Suffice it to say that we all have probably been in situations where we have felt "caught", violated, or taken advantage of (maybe even more than once) to the point that it becomes "old hat". Consequently, we find ourselves in these moments assuming a familiar position as a result of (excuse the psychology term) conditioning. This blog will hopefully serve as a tool to recondition (if necessary) the stance we choose to take in stressful or even traumatic times in our lives.
We all have different postures we assume in troublesome times. So, let's talk about five that have come to my mind. First, we have those people that assume the defensive stance. Probably the most popular of choices, the defensive stance is assumed as a means of self preservation when faced with what one may view as an attack, problem, or stressful situation. Second, we have the victim pose. It may not be self explanatory to some. Suffice it to say, this posture can come after a series of painful events and one must be handled gently while frozen here. Third, is another common approach to problematic situations - the escape artist. Especially in the current fad of prescription/illicit drug abuse, many people choose to act as escape artists by drowning problems in drugs or even alcohol abuse; but do not be mistaken! ANYTHING can be used to escape problems too big to face alone. The fourth option (and my least favorite) is a perpetrator. There are some who have felt like they have been short changed so often that they will no longer sit back and wait to be taken advantage of but instead inflict retribution on others - sometimes even innocent bystanders.
Before we try to identify with a specific category that we may or may not fit into, let it be said that one person can take any or all of these positions at some point in a lifetime and sometimes all at once. Could this be the reason we see so many people hurting others in our society today? I make no claims to be an expert. Neither will I attempt to make this something worthy of being posted on the APA website. However, I do feel an extreme need to point out that in my life I have justified my behavior solely on the merits of what has been done to me. If I have done this, then it could very well be possible that others have as well. So, if by my admission I can encourage someone or join someone in their shadows to make them feel less alone, so be it.
Therefore, let me just share the postures I have assumed in my lifetime. I will try to make it as chronological as I can to bear out the progression. In my younger years, I was very trusting and naïve. I could be tricked by the silliest of pranks because I just wanted to belong so badly. I never got hurt by these pranks only maybe slightly embarrassed. As I got older, though, I would get so angry at myself for being so stupid that I began striking back in a defensive manner with sarcasm and cutting comebacks. Soon, my behavior became less reactionary in an attempt to head pain off at the pass. I began perpetrating painful things on others before they had a chance to hurt me. I justified it as preventative maintenance. As more time passed and more of life happened, I encountered many traumatic circumstances to the point that I just could not be strong enough to fight back, which left me victimized with a cowering personality. This infuriated me because I hated feeling and being viewed as weak. It was completely unacceptable for me. So, I tried to escape from my problems. I used various methods all failing miserably despite my justification of retaliation for all that had been done to me and all it left me with was a reflection that I despised.
To reiterate what I said earlier, I am no expert and by no means do I have all the answers. What I do know is this: I have assumed the defensive position and I, along with many others, still got hurt. I have assumed the perpetrator position and innocent people got hurt. I have assumed the victim position and hated my own weakness. I have assumed the escapist position and people were horribly effected by my absence. What is the common thread? People got hurt in EVERY ONE of these positions and at NO time did I ever successfully protect myself from pain. Why? Because in life there WILL be pain. None of us like this fact! We do not want to hear or be reminded of it; but it is still the reality.
I use to hate the scripture in *Matthew 5:44 that says, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;". Equally as troublesome was the scripture in *Matthew 18:21, 22 that states, "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven." I mean, come on! Really? I am expected to forgive the same person for the same thing 490 frickin' times in the SAME DAY???!!! Get outta here! There is no way. It's not fair to just let those hateful horrible people that hurt me off the hook. These scriptures were so troublesome that I rebelled against them, refusing to operate that way. I punished those who hurt me by not forgiving them and holding them internally and eternally responsible. The only problem was my perpetrators were completely apathetic and oblivious to the grudges that I re-lived [sometimes] daily. Ashamedly, after many years of holding everyone internally accountable for everything they said or did or didn't say or do to me, I realized that these principles were given to me not as a means to give predators a license to victimize me. Instead, these principles served as a key to unlock the shackles that bound and tormented me.
There we have it. We all have been given the keys to unlock us from the imprisonment of any pain we have experienced from problems, stresses, or trauma. So, go and be free! Right? Well, I don't know about you, but I hate pat answers and have very little respect for those that flip them off their tongues. I do not need to tell anyone who has ever really seriously been hurt how hard it is to truly forgive the source(s) of pain and move on truly free in life. What I have spelled out here in this blog may be exactly what others have gone through or not at all close. After all, everyone is different. However, what I encourage anyone who is facing something right now to do is assume the fifth position that I have purposely saved until now and that is the survivor position.
Being a survivor is the most rewarding position one could ever take and yet the most difficult. The survivor approach in life is much like the attitude found in *2 Corinthians 4:7-10 that says, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. [We are] troubled on every side, yet not distressed; [we are] perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body." Mother Teresa said it another way: "People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." (http://www.prayerfoundation.org/mother_teresa_do_it_anyway.htm)
What does the survivor position look like? Again, it may look as many different ways as there are people. To me, however, I assume the survivor position best when I face the cross on Calvary, acknowledge the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and do my very best to live as He did. If I do this, maybe one day I can (like Stephen in Acts 7:55, 56) focus my attention more on the mutual love and respect that Christ and I share than the current pain I am suffering. I wonder what society would look like if everyone reconditioned themselves to assume this survivor position.
*All scripture references were taken from www.blueletterbible.org in the King James Version.
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